Published 03/12/2023 by Sarah Lutterloch

Why Do People in Loving Relationships Cheat?

People in loving, committed relationships cheat for a variety of different reasons, even when they still feel love and affection for their primary partner.

Research lets us know that emotional dissatisfaction is the number one cause, with studies showing that 57% of men and 34% of women who cheat report feeling emotionally disconnected from their partner.

Common motivators are boredom, a desire for change, excitement, and something new. Evolutionary psychology pushes the idea that some people may seek new partners to fulfil subconscious desires or secret sexual desires even when they are in a long-term relationship.

An example of this statistic is given in the book The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Stop It by Dr. Gary Neuman, published August 19, 2008 (1). Dr Neuman found that psychological disconnect was one of the main explanations for male unfaithfulness, especially among men.

A study published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that about 20% of people in monogamous relationships report engaging in infidelity at some point or another despite being in a happy relationship.

Relationship experts say that psychological factors, such as low self-esteem or needing external validation from others, also play a significant role in extramarital affairs. Cheating often arises from unmet emotional or sexual needs, personal insecurities, or opportunity rather than a lack of love and care.

Read our guide on 4 Basic Types of Relationships.

The Role of Emotional Dissatisfaction in Cheating

Even in satisfying intimate relationships, a lack of emotional connection can cause frustrations and emotional distress, motivating people to seek an affair partner. This data typically comes from relationship questionnaires and research on what causes cheating.

When emotional needs are not satisfied, distance emerges, and couples drift apart. Emotional closeness constitutes the basis for a successful and happy relationship. Without it, the desire for emotional closeness will result in unfaithfulness.

The cause of cheating is not because they no longer love their partner but because they need to feel understood, appreciated and fulfilled. A strong yearning for desires to be met can leave partners feeling they have unmet emotional needs, which often leads to infidelity in relationships.

Boredom and Stagnation: When Comfort Breeds Complacency

Infidelity thrives in boredom and relationship stagnation. In a primary relationship with no spark left, everything becomes a mundane routine, and boredom or sexual frustration is the result.

Boredom in a relationship often leads to physical cheating and extramarital affairs. If you were stuck in a boring relationship routine, how would you try to escape it? By looking for an outside thrill to bring passion and excitement back.

Becoming comfortable with your current partner can be one of the main reasons people spur a thirst for novelty and lead lovers to turn outside their relationships to gain some of the lost energy and lust.

If the primary relationship turns stale and lifeless, it will weaken its strength, and infidelity will become a hurtful getaway.

Lack of Sexual Satisfaction: When Physical Needs Aren't Met

A healthy relationship needs a good mix of sexual and emotional intimacy.

A lack of intimacy is one of the most common reasons for adultery. A lack of fun in the bedroom leads to boredom and feelings of rejection, and this is when lustrous temptation found in a new sexual relationship will happen.

Your relationship could be very intimately active, but if you have unusual sexual needs and your desires in the bedroom don't match up, it can also result in feelings of frustration and disapproval.

Even if emotional love is present, sexual exhaustion in the bedroom could be enough to compel a person to betray the current partner and fulfil sexual cravings elsewhere.

Taboo desires and lusts can overcome loyalty, driving cheating as a means of regaining excitement and sexual rewards.

Seeking Validation and Self-Worth From Others

Apathy towards oneself and seeking approval can also fuel infidelity. Those who are insecure can seek validation and validation away from the relationship, reserving adultery as an alibi for self-confidence.

Someone may turn to others to address the emotional need for reassurance should they feel neglected or not recognised in their relationship. This search for external validation can temporarily boost self-assurance, even if it means ruining their current relationship.

Cheating in this situation is not a rebuff against their spouse but a self-defeating way to cope with deep insecurity.

What Is Revenge Cheating?

Revenge cheating is an anger-fuelled reaction to betrayal or unresolved resentment within a bad relationship.

You find out your partner has cheated on you, which leaves you hurt and angry. Then, in anger and utter pain, you decide to give them a taste of their own medicine in the hope they will feel the same torturous pain you are going through. This type of cheating is simply a response to anger or bitterness. It is their way of repaying an abuse.

Unfortunately, revenge cheating fuels this vicious cycle of mistrust and suffering to make the relationship even worse and more difficult to reconcile.

Although it can be an act of self-reproach, the ensuing trauma inflicts greater suffering on both parties, making the chances of a relationship after infidelity almost impossible.

How Does an Emotional Affair Damage a Relationship?

Emotional cheating can be just as hurtful as, if not worse, than physical cheating.

Unlike a pure physical mistress, visited solely for intimacy, emotional infidelity is a committed emotional affair with someone other than the partner, potentially even more destructive to the marital relationship.

This form of cheating generally grows behind closed doors, with feelings of desire and emotional intimacy taking over the bond that one should have with one's partner.

Emotional cheating throws a fuzzy veil between friendship and cheating, is associated with mistrust and insecurity, and can result in relationship ruin even if there's no actual betrayal. With these relationships in play, the chances of future infidelity increase as the bond grows stronger.

The Influence of Technology: Cheating in the Digital Age

Cheating has become easily accessible and readily available through social media, dating apps and online communities.

Technological means open the way to online interactions where the boundary between good nature and cheating is elongated.

Cheating online, through sex texting, phone flirting, and picture swapping, might seem to hold more moral consistency but is just as heartbreaking as offline chauvinism.

The temptation to indulge in online cheating never stops because the internet is ripe with opportunities for flirting, hiding and seduction, for one to do something emotional or physical without having to leave one's home.

People with sexual addictions who have a desire for variety regularly use online services to fulfil their secret, darker desires.

Can Cheating Be Prevented in a Relationship?

If you want to prevent your partner from cheating, you need clear communication and trust.

Trust is paramount! Attending to emotional and physical needs in the first stages makes it possible to ensure that each partner feels fulfilled and valued.

Couples can be strengthened by talking things out, cutting a conflict before it goes public, and continuing to develop intimacy through physical touch and emotional bonds.

Partners can avoid this mistrust and infidelity if all needs are met, emotional and physical.

To stop either partner from straying, it takes two people to maintain the relationship's strength and well-being. If that doesn't work, or you are still worried about the risk of cheating, try couples’ relationship therapy with a professional.

Psychic Love Readings: Gaining Insight Into Relationship Issues

Is my partner cheating on me?

Why did my partner cheat on me?

Can a broken relationship be fixed?

Psychic readings can help you answer all these kinds of questions and more.

When a partner is unfaithful, it is the biggest, most shocking betrayal. The emotional pain of the betrayal physically hurts and leaves an unseen scar only you can see. After these kinds of experiences, we need to find a way to heal, accept and move on or find a way to fix the trust in the relationship.

A live psychic reader can guide you to understand your partner's reasons for cheating, predict potential relationship challenges, and offer solutions to unresolved issues to help you heal and mend broken trust.

Psychic love readings are a way of understanding what drives infidelity and how couples cope with complicated relationship issues. These readings are visionary and spiritual, enabling people to know what their lover is doing, thinking, or feeling, anticipate relationship issues and rebuild the emotional connection in a relationship.

Insights provided by psychic readings can make a relationship emotionally and spiritually clear so that the relationship problem can be resolved or begin in a new direction.

Contact the relationship experts at Trusted Psychics Australia today. You can chat online using Live Messenger or dial a live psychic reader for complete and detailed relationship analysis.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Why Do People Cheat If They Love Their Partner?

Plenty of people who love their partner wholeheartedly indulge in cheating behaviours for numerous reasons, emotional or physical, for insecurity, they want more excitement and need more sexual stimulation or because the routine of a stable relationship is boring.

Love is potent, but it can't solve all the problems of a relationship. There's the emotional discontent, excitement or just the validation that can lead someone to cheat despite their desire to remain with their partner.

Sometimes, people cheat to satisfy an appetite that love can't cover, seeking intimacy or passion that the relationship feels lacks.

Can a Psychic Reading Reveal Why My Partner Cheated?

Psychic love readings can help us understand the motivation behind cheating and what might have caused the partner to cheat, whether it is emotional immaturity or psychological or sexual appetite.

Psychic readings can investigate the spiritual and emotional energies of a person or relationship, offering psychic insight into their partner's actions.

The psychic may uncover hidden fears, insecurities, undisclosed emotions, unresolved conflicts, or unfulfilled needs. This can lead to betrayal by drawing on deep energies surrounding the romantic relationship.

As can psychic counsel that suggests possible avenues to aid the healing process, be it reconciliation or ending the hurt.

Can Cheating Be Forgiven in a Relationship?

Cheating is the biggest and most hurtful betrayal to experience. Cheating partners can be forgiven, but only after a great deal of effort on the part of both partners can the relationship truly heal.

Rebuilding trust after infidelity requires complete transparency, emotional regulation, and a readiness to manage the hurt together.

For some, genuine forgiveness can prove too difficult to deliver after having your heart shattered into a million pieces.

The common theme seen after betrayal is the couples try to forgive and fix the relationship, but ultimately, there is little long-term success. If you do manage to forgive, the question then remains as to whether the relationship can fully heal and survive afterwards and If the partner will cheat again.

Openness, time, patience, and compassion will be needed to rebuild trust and begin to heal the relationship.

Most relationships struggle to rebuild trust; this is when visiting a couple’s therapist or individual therapy sessions may be a significant advantage.

How Do You Prevent Cheating in a Relationship?

Stopping a cheater in their tracks starts with physical closeness and a strong emotional relationship bond.

Keeping everyone involved and talking about it helps partners feel heard and seen. Addressing boredom, unfulfilled needs, and emotional disconnect before they become more major problems can keep the relationship alive.

The foundations of trust, being responsive to each other's needs, and working hard on physical and emotional issues are key to avoiding the ripe conditions that often set the stage for adultery.

Book a psychic love reading today to gain the clarity and answers you deserve. Psychic guidance can light the way forward, whether you're looking to rebuild trust or seek a new path.

(1) Citation: Research The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Stop It by Dr Gary Neuman, published August 19, 2008

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