Published 23/07/2024 by Olivia Woods

How to Forgive Yourself: Guide to Self-forgiveness

We all have regrets, guilt, and things we wish we had handled differently, but what's done is done and cannot be changed.

All you can do now is to live in the present and learn how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, as we all have them. You can think of them as a learning curve and a necessary learning experience which is part of your personal growth.

Forgiving yourself is an essential step towards personal growth and emotional well-being. It involves letting go of past mistakes, negative emotions, and feelings of guilt to embrace self-compassion and move forward in life.

This detailed step-by-step guide provided by Trusted Psychics Australia outlines the best ways to learn how to forgive yourself through acknowledging your actions, feeling genuine remorse, making amends, and renewing your commitment to emotional health and personal improvement.

By following these soul-nurturing steps, you can learn true self-forgiveness and live a guilt-free lifestyle.

The 4 R's of Self-forgiveness

Learning how to forgive yourself is separated into 4 easy stages:

The 4 R's are Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration and Renewal.

These stages provide an outline for regulating, repairing, and making peace with your past mistakes so that you can move on.

Recognising your mistake is the first step in the journey towards self-forgiveness. Accepting responsibility lights the way towards expressing genuine remorse and undertaking appropriate repairs.

Restoring a sense of peace requires reprogramming your mind and thought patterns, where you can consciously decide to 'put offending events behind you' and then transform new and better behaviour patterns.

Responsibility

The first step in our guide on learning how to forgive yourself is taking responsibility.

Responsibility is the complete and clear-eyed ownership of the mistake, without excuses or blame-shifting. It is the recognition of how you have broken the moral code, how your actions have impacted the people harmed by your conduct, and the understanding of how your actions have affected you.

Taking responsibility is acknowledging your mistakes and accepting the reality that you can't change the past, but you can learn from it.

Most importantly, you can move on and do better.

Remorse

The second step in learning how to forgive yourself is to express and feel true remorseful feelings.

Expressing true remorse for what you've done involves feeling genuine regret for your actions and expressing remorse to any parties involved. This doesn't mean beating yourself up or engaging in self-loathing, negative self-talk, or self-pity.

Instead, it means feeling remorseful about your behaviour, connecting to your feelings of hurt and pain, and conveying that to others you've harmed.

In this way, you can begin to soften your own heart and connect to your humanity and vulnerability. The experience of regret allows you to see the ripple effect that your actions have caused and create a compassionate response in yourself and others.

Restoration

The third step in learning how to forgive yourself is Restoration.

Restoration is the part where you make amends and take steps to correct for any harm your actions have caused.

You might apologise to those you hurt, try to repair relationships or change your behaviour to avoid a similar misstep in the future.

Restoration, then, is about a demonstrable commitment to change and to take positive steps forward. Restoring what has been lost, damaged, or hurt can be a gradual process, but it will help you begin to rebuild trust and honesty with others and within yourself.

Renewal

Step four on how to forgive yourself is the last step towards healing.

Renewal is when you let go of the past and negative experiences to move forward with a new way of thinking and behaving.

Renewal is the stage of self-forgiveness when you commit to becoming a better person and consciously try to change how you think and act. It's about building compassion for yourself and recognising that the self-forgiveness process will take time, but you are worth the forgiveness and time it will take.

How to Forgive Yourself and Move On Step-by-Step?

You've hurt yourself or someone else, and the scar of shame feels ingrained in your soul. It might seem like you don't deserve to forgive yourself and move on. Everyone else might have forgiven you, but you still wear the shame like a fitted coat.

Reflecting on the past and replaying hurtful events will stunt your personal growth.

It can hold you back, keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-hatred and loathing, which is why mental health professionals stress the need to talk through the negative feelings to develop positive emotional reactions, accept you are an imperfect person, forgive yourself and move on.

If you've ever wondered how to forgive yourself and stop the bad thoughts and feelings of shame, then this guide on how to forgive yourself can help.

Step 1: Understand Your Emotions

A central step in the process of self-forgiveness is to take a hard look at what you are feeling.

Take time to sit with yourself and reflect on what you have gone through and what emotions to flow back from. Take stock of your guilt, emotions of shame and regret.

Understanding exactly what you're feeling is the first step to holding the feelings to the light of day. The second step is accepting them.

Accept your feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. Recognise that you did something wrong or wish you'd done things differently, and acknowledge that your actions have had consequences for you and your loved ones.

Step 2: Take Responsibility

Once you have identified your emotions, the second step is to own them.

Own your behaviour, whether it was a major or minor mistake. This means taking responsibility for what you did and did not do.

Taking responsibility is important so that you can learn from your mistakes and make conscious choices about your behaviour moving forward. This is about both ownership and responsibility—what you did and the consequences of your actions.

Step 3: Be Kind to Yourself

This step on how to forgive yourself focuses on self-kindness – the need to be nice to yourself on an emotional level. You may think this sounds simple and straightforward, but most people find this the most difficult part.

Showing yourself kindness and love means looking at yourself with the same patience or understanding you would offer to a good friend in the same circumstances.

There is no such thing as the perfect person; we all make mistakes, admittedly, some bigger than others, but it's all part of being human, and it's good to remember that during this step.

Self-compassion helps you avoid self-recrimination and creates a nurturing internal setting to help you heal and stop torturing yourself with guilt.

Step 4: Show Remorse

If you are genuinely sorry or remorseful, show it.

Express sincere, heartfelt remorse for your actions, focusing not only on the harm or danger you caused but on the fact that your behaviour caused it.

By expressing sincere remorse, you recognise the negative effects of your actions on others and can begin to make a concerted effort to rebuild your moral growth.

Step 5: Make Amends to Others and Yourself

Once you feel absolute remorse and express regret, it's time to right your wrongs.

You may have broken relationships and the trust of people close to you and feel the need to apologise sincerely.

Perhaps corporate actions have caused some damage, and you should take steps to repair that harm.

Making amends means putting some good back into the world to make up for your sins and committing to doing what you can to make things right; this demonstrates that you've truly taken responsibility for your actions.

Step 6: Learn From the Experience

Learning from mistakes is an important part of human nature and self-forgiveness.

Take some time to figure out exactly what happened, why it happened and what you can learn from the experience. There may have been triggers or circumstances that you can identify and learn how to avoid in the future.

This step is about turning an unfavourable event into something useful, a source of learning that adds to your life experience and personal growth.

Step 7: Move On

And the last step in this guide on how to forgive yourself is finally moving on.

Moving on means to stop dwelling on the past and to let go of the guilty feelings and regret associated with it.

To move on is to accept that you have done everything possible to make amends and that it's time to stop focusing on it and begin to turn your attention to the present and the future and to regain a more positive and hopeful outlook on life.

If anything good comes from a mistake, it's the hope that you can at least learn from it and maybe even prevent someone else from making the same mistake.

Why Is Self-forgiveness So Difficult?

Self-forgiveness can be difficult because the person can develop so much self-hatred, guilt, and shame it feels like their mistake is tattooed onto their forehead for the world to see and not forgive. This kind of deep shame makes learning how to forgive yourself even more difficult, making it a slower process.

Forgiving yourself can be done, no matter how deep the scar.

Denying the problem's existence, severity, or impact on others can make the person fearful of repeating the same mistake. Yet, accepting the mistake and doing whatever it takes, never repeating it, is a huge step in learning how to forgive yourself.

Benefits of Self-forgiveness

Mental health experts will tell you that forgiving yourself is part of the healing process and getting better, which improves mental and physical health.

You will likely become happier as you remove the bad feelings and begin to experience freedom from the chains of guilt. Your relationships flourish as you re-enter the world with an open heart and a clear head.

When you know how to forgive yourself, you can free yourself from the past and your fears and self-doubt.

Mental Health

Genuine self-forgiveness is good for your mental health.

By giving yourself a break from past wrongdoings, you lower feelings of guilt, crippling shame, and self-criticism, which are known to cause anxiety, depression, low self-worth, and other mental health issues.

By ridding yourself of these negative emotions, your mind becomes free from negativity and remains in better equilibrium with your emotions.

Physical Health

Knowing how to forgive yourself can also have physical health benefits.

Chronic guilt and self-blame can create stress, which, as we know, can cause a range of harmful physical effects, including high blood pressure levels, weakened immune system functions, and an increased risk of general illness.

Reducing your stress levels through self-forgiveness can result in better sleep, stronger immune function, and improved overall physical health. The mind-body connection is real: if you care for your mental health, you also care for your physical health.

Spiritual Healing

Self-forgiveness helps achieve spiritual healing by freeing your mind, body and soul from negative energies and making you more attuned to your spiritual values and beliefs.

Self-forgiveness comes with self-acceptance and inner peace, essential in connecting with your spiritual self. They enable you to experience a deeper sense of purpose that can also bring clarity to your life's path.

Spiritual healing through self-forgiveness also helps you feel a greater connection to the equilibrium of your inner self and the outside world.

Relationships

You'll also have better relationships with others. If you're consumed with guilt and self-condemnation, being fully present and open with others is difficult.

Knowing how to forgive yourself can help clear these emotions so you can be fully engaged and available in relationships. It enables you to be more empathetic towards others since you're more likely to care for them like you've cared for yourself.

Psychic Readings

We all have regrets about things that have happened in life and think to ourselves, what if we had done this or that differently? Did I do the wrong thing? Could I have done something more or better?

Try a psychic reading if the stain of guilt imprints your mind and weighs down your emotions.

A psychic reading with Trusted Psychics Australia can help you learn how to forgive yourself and move forward to a guilt-free life by providing insights and guidance that help you understand the root causes of your guilt and regrets.

Our live psychic readers can open your mind, allowing you a deeper perspective on past actions and their impacts, enabling you to see them in a new light.

Psychics often use their intuitive abilities to offer clearer insights and a psychic perspective, helping you release negative emotions and self-blame. They can also provide spiritual techniques, such as visualisation, meditation, and affirmations, to aid in the healing process.

By connecting with a Trusted Psychic, you can receive the support and encouragement needed to learn how to forgive yourself, embrace personal growth, and move forward with a sense of guilt-free peace and self-acceptance.

With the click of a button, you can go online and try out the easily accessible and well-loved Live Messenger chats or pick up the phone and speak to one of the top 20 live psychic readers.

FAQs

How Do I Let Go of Guilt and Forgive Myself?

For most people, forgiving themselves is not something that comes easily or naturally.

Learning how to forgive yourself and get rid of the burden of guilt takes intentional and conscious effort. The first step is to identify exactly what you did wrong – to name it.

Sometimes, just speaking it out loud can be an important part of this process: 'I cheated on my test.' Then, consider the consequences of your actions, both to yourself and others, and why they were wrong.

Then, think about what you have learned from the mistake and how you can repair it by making amends.

What If I Can Never Forgive Myself?

Feeling like you can never forgive yourself is common, but it can be a big impediment to your healing process and doing the right thing to make amends. It might not come all at once.

If you struggle to forgive yourself, a therapist or counsellor can help you develop cognitive tools to help you move through the guilt.

Take some time with self-reflection to figure out why you feel as badly as you do. Sometimes, write a letter to yourself about those feelings. Focus on what you're proud of and how you've grown since the incident. We're all forgivable if we have genuine remorse.

How Do I Accept My Past Failures?

Accepting past failure starts with the understanding that failure is part of the human condition.

Look at your history without judgment. These experiences made you who you are today. Adopt a growth mindset where failures or setbacks are opportunities for learning and growth.

Celebrate your evolution and the small wins from learning how to do better next time.

Does Self-forgiveness Work?

Indeed, self-forgiveness is a proven strategy for improving mental, emotional, and physical health.

Research shows that self-forgiveness reduces heavy feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, and self-blame and ultimately allows one to develop a free and more positive frame of mind.

What Are the Consequences of Not Forgiving Yourself?

When you don't give yourself a break, you could suffer mentally, physically, and socially.

Long-lasting feelings of guilt and self-blame can result in chronic stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which gnaw away at your self-esteem and quality of life. This makes it hard to build relationships and pursue the things you want to do with your life.

Contact Trusted Psychics Australia for a psychic reading today.

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